We’ve all been there, I think, on the telephone discussing something important to us or with someone important to us… and no one else is home, when the doorbell rings, or another call comes through, with someone equally important, or both at once. Now, it doesn’t matter that no one has called or rung the doorbell for the previous two hours and no one will for another hour or two. What is it about the universe that ensures that, in so many cases, too many things occur at the same time?
I’m not talking about those which aren’t random, but can be predicted, like the political calls that occur from five or six in the evening until eight o’clock, or the charitable solicitations that are timed in the same way [both conveniently excepted from the do-not-call listing]. I’m talking about calls and callers and events that should be random, but clearly aren’t. Sometimes, it’s merely amusing, as when daughters located on different coasts call at the same time. Sometimes, it’s not, as when you’re trying to explain why you need the heating fixed now, and your editor calls wanting an immediate answer on something… or you’re discussing scheduling long-distance with your wife and you ignore the 800 call that you later find out was an automated call, without ID, informing you that your flight for six A.M. the next morning has been cancelled… and you don’t find out until three A.M. the next morning when you check your email before leaving for the airport… and end up driving an extra 60 miles to the other airport. There’s also the fact that, no matter what time of the afternoon it is, there’s a 10-20% chance that, whenever I’m talking to my editor, either FedEx, UPS, or DHL will appear at the door [upstairs from my office] needing a signature… and we don’t get that many packages [except from my publisher] and I spend less than a half hour a week on the phone with my editor.
I know I’m not alone in this. Too many people have recounted similar stories, but the logical types explain it all away by saying that we only remember the times these things happen, but not the times that they don’t. Maybe… but my caller I.D. gives the times for every incoming call, and when I say that there haven’t been any calls for two or three hours, and then I get three in three minutes… it doesn’t lie – not unless there’s a far grander conspiracy out there than I even wish to consider. And why is it that I almost always get calls in the ten minutes or so a day when I’m using the “facilities”? No calls at all in the half hour before or after, of course.
This can extend into other areas – like supermarket checkout lines. The most improbable events occur in all too many cases in whatever line I pick. The juice packet of the shopper in front of me explodes all over the conveyor belt. The checker I have is the only one not legally able to ring up beer, and the manager is dealing with an irate customer in another line. The register tape jams. The credit/debit card machine freezes on the previous customer, just after I’ve put everything on the belt.
Now… to be fair, it sometimes works the other way. There was no possible way I ever could have met my wife. None [and I won’t go into the details because they’d take twice the words of my longest blog], but it happened, and she’s still, at least occasionally, pointing out that it had to be destiny… or fate. Well… given how that has turned out, I wouldn’t mind a few more “improbable” favorable coincidences, but… they’re pretty rare. Then again, if all the small unfavorable improbabilities are the price for her… I’ll put up with them all.




